My heart is heavy today. Circumstances sometimes throw you a curve ball and you have no choice but to play the game to the best of your ability, even so, that does not eliminate the occasional moment of despair. I gain strength from the scripture that tells me that 'He' will make weak things become strong, his grace is sufficient for all men that come unto him. I hold on to that thought with a fervent grasp. It is in moments like this that I have a very minuscule feeling of my Saviors sacrifice for me as he suffered in the garden. A deep and throbbing agony comes from the very core of my soul as I think of the pain I caused this most perfect being and 'his' willingness to feel that pain--all because he loves me. How grateful I am to be loved like that.
Oh that I might follow his example and love that way.
Each day reminds me of my own fumbling mortality, of my own weakness, and I despair at my sheer incompetence. We are here to walk with one another to lighten one anther's load and I have had my load carried more then once by those around me. My gratitude is most times lacking and I have never shared the feeling of love with those around me as often as I should. But it doesn't mean that I don't feel those things, I do, and I keep making the same resolution over and over again to do better, to be better, only to break it at the most important moments.
As I face another sabbath the very essence of the day has given me new resolve to do and be and become the person that I am needed to be. And I am grateful to be given that chance, oh how grateful I am for that.
To those of you that have been given to me as a gift, I Love You All, very very much! You give me hope and love and I am most grateful.
4 comments:
Roxanne, what can I do to lighten your load?
Roxanne, thank you for your sweet comment. Please know that I'm serious...if you need anything, please let me know.
You know we all feel this way time to time. I am so much harder on myself than anyone else. Be gentle on yourself.
what a heart-felt and honest post. It touched me.
I miss visiting your blog. I have to admit I have not dropped by for a while. A couple of times awhile back I clicked on your link from my reader and I got frozen out, so I gave up and then I went on an extended blog break. But I'm glad I came by tonight.
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