I wanted to wish any and all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS AND WONDERFUL AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR!

Journal Entry

It is early and I am not sleeping. Too many things running rampant through my thought process. Isn't it amazing that no matter how old you get, you can so quickly be thrown back into the past and relive experiences that you would just as soon forget. It is interesting to feel like an outsider to your own life....... or wish that you were.

As I sit here trying to sort out my emotions and try to make sense out of an emotional situation, I long for the days when all that I had to concern myself with was where to find a matching sock.

When taking stock of my relationships, it is with some confusion that I realize only those that you love deeply enough can truly get under your skin and hurt you, hurt you with a deep wound that never seems to heal completely and remains as an ugly scar tissue on the most sensitive area of the soul. It seems to await 'the trigger' and then proceeds to look for any and all areas of weakness to bring you emotionally to your knees. I am there.

The strange thing is, I wasn't part of this situation other then being a bystander witnessing it. It was slightly surreal. Watching two people that I love hurt one another with words and actions that stemmed from exhaustion and hunger and probably deep down wounds that have never been addressed, was nothing short of painful.

I have found it hard to be forgiving and even harder to be objective.

I know in time the sting of this event will soften as it becomes buried by day to day goings on, but unless I find compassion and charity in my soul, this will become another defining image in the movie in my mind that is my life, and that is unacceptable.

A dream is a wish your heart makes

Man oh man, the adventures that you can experience when you leave the comfort of hearth and home. We spent the day at Disneyland Tokyo on Wednesday and had such a time. Disneyland does everything up first class, it is an incredible place, but it made me homesick for MY Disneyland, luckily I will be going there in another 4 weeks.


We did have an adventure coming back to the room, we took the wrong train back and we couldn't believe the way that the Japanese commuters cram, and I mean cram themselves into a small space. I wanted to take a picture but I couldn't get my hands free to get to the camera. The picture that I have here was after half of them got off. And to top it all off we were on the wrong train going the wrong direction. The people here are so helpful, even if they don't understand anything we say they go out of their way to get us to the correct destination. It took 3 trains to get back on the correct track and being the navigator I felt very badly about it but all my friends made sure that I understood how much they enjoyed the adventure.
We also had a great time shopping in Asakusa. It was such a wonderful area and the shops were so cute. The picture below was taken looking down all the shops. It did rain the whole time we were out but that didn't dampen our spirits, it was great. I would love to go back and might just do that today. Luckily they had a McDonald's on this little street so Steve took up residency there and waited while I explored all the little shops.
The little shops along one of the streets in Asakusa. Above is the fan shop that I love so much.


One other thing that I have gotten from this trip is a new appreciation for MY country. Believe it or not I am a little homesick for family, friends, home, car and country. I have enjoyed the trip but look forward to coming back home. I guess you just can't take the country out of the girl, can you?

I lost a day

Yippeeee, We have arrived in Tokyo Japan. We left Sunday Morning at 11:34 AM and arrived in Japan on Monday Afternoon at 4:00 PM. We lost most of Monday when we crossed the international dateline but we will gain it back when we return next Monday.

It is rainy today but we don't plan to let that stop us. We are headed out to explore this biggest city in the world. I also plan to make a couple of purchases. I worried about what I could eat here but I had Curry and Rice last night and it didn't bother me too much. I am hoping that is a good sign.

I am excited to be here with my husband and friends and look forward to the Synergy conference later this weekend.

I wanted to take a picture of one of the commodes at the airport but I didn't have my camera with me. The week is not over yet and I plan to get a photo before I come home. These toilets are revolutionary. They wash you and dry you and they even have a button you push that sounds like a toilet flushing to cover any unseemly noises that might come from the stall. Man, they think of everything.

I have included a picture of our little group waiting at the airport at LAX and will post again after we visit with Mickey tomorrow.

I am Ruled by Rules

Let me just say at the beginning of this post, I am a rule follower. It is what I do. I am committed to the concept with my whole heart. Mr Darcy on the other hand believes that rules may apply to others but they are simply an inconvenience for him. It is a constant source of gut wrenching to me, to see him so casually ignore a rule as if it didn't exist.

And so it is understandable that just when I think I have at least one thing figured out in my life, the rules seem to change and I am thrown into a dither.

Rule #1 -- I H.A.T.E Shopping. I know this contradicts everything people think about woman, but I hate it. It makes me so tired and bored and it gives me a backache.

Now, here is where the rule changes. Yesterday, I spent the day with my dear sis and my darling niece Lin-rock. Lindsay had decided to make a spur of the moment decision to jump in a car and come up to visit her two favorite aunts for the weekend (that is something you can do when you are 19, footloose and fancy free, with nothing tying you down). So we wanted to show her a good time, and Lindsay LOVES to shop, so we took her to the mall (aaarrrrggggghhhhh, I hate shopping, did I mention that?). Well, we spent several hours there, and guess what people, I had a fabulous time, me...... shopping......who knew that was even possible for me. I not only had a good time, I bought something spur of the moment like, without prior thought or planning. A pair of shoes no less. And guess what, I LOVE them. I mean, seriously people, do you know how long it has been since I bought a pair of shoes on a whim, without prior planning, and LOVED them. I do not believe it has evah happened.

Here is a picture of my purchase, aren't they PRETTY. They are a lovely bronze color and I believe that is my new favorite color.

So let that be a lesson to you all, maybe Mr Darcy is right about this.......nah, this was just a fluke of nature.

How about you, are you a ME or a MR DARCY when it comes to rules? Just curious.

Tis the Season

OK, it is time to move past my guilt riddled post and put up something that I hope will be fun to look at.

My dearest daughter 'Sissy' has put together a group of women who meet up once a month and do a little scrapbook project. I enjoy this immensely as I get to spend time with some amazing woman and create something cute . The way we do this is each month one of us is the hostess and we create a 2 page spread (sometimes this is the hardest part of hostessing, coming up with a project) and then have everything ready for the others to come, sit down and get busy.

Well, this month it is my turn to host our evening out and I racked my brain for a clever fun idea. I have said before in previous posts, that I am a copier, I do great work when I can just copy someone else's creative juices and so that is just what I did (thank you Karen ).

For my evening I decided to make Christmas Cards instead of the 2-page spread and I wanted to share them with you, mainly because I am proud of them. I love them, I hope you will too.







In all fairness if you don't like the cards you have seen, I did take some creative license, I copied the main idea and then added my own embellishments, you know, change a little here and a little there, so if you don't like them, don't blame my scrapbook mentor Karen.

I am ready to go, and I am excited about the evening. I will have to let you know how it goes and if it is a success, but either way I am ready and organized for the big day as you can see by my box below (believe it or not this is my way of organizing).

Guilt, Thy name is Mother

Have you ever felt just a 'day late and a dollar short?' Well that is how I feel... generally speaking. For example, If there are several lanes in the grocery store check-out and I pick one of said lanes...it is a given that I always pick the slow lane. (Sometimes I want to apologize to those that are in line around me and explain they are NOW standing in the slow lane.) But to get to the meat of this post...

I came into blogdom rather late in the life of blogmania, I created my blog because my daughter had one (I know what you are thinking...I am too old to succumb to peer pressure) and I thought it was an easy, free way to communicate with her, but apparently blogging has a short life span as she no longer posts.... at all...about anything. And thus I am left in my lone corner of the world...alone...sigh.. sniff. (After writing this I must make an addendum to the above statement, I love all my blog friends that consistently write and keep me entertained on a daily basis... this post is NOT directed at you!)

So as you can see my daughter's blogging flame is short-lived. She had a glorious run while it lasted and I must comfort myself with memories of what once was. Of entertaining moments of whimsy and reality mixed in an easy reading, easy flowing pattern of gentle entertainment that lifted my spirits and brought a smile to this old mom's lips.

Thanks for the Memories!

Perfection

May I introduce you to the most perfect little being on the planet.
This is my latest little muffin grandbaby, isn't she just edible.
She is perfection in a beautiful wrapping.

I love you my darling granddaughter!

Don't lose your head over this

Sometimes things just quit working. I don't know if you have ever experienced this, but I have and I think it is a law of nature. So, when my fan in my bathroom just quit, I figured it was one of those things.

It really wasn't old enough to die a natural death, and it goes on when my light goes on and the light was still working so I knew there was power going to it. During the summer months during the day I very seldom even use the light and fan, so I just figured it was 'one of those things'.

Mr Darcy took it down the other day to replace it and found a very disturbing turn of events. The fan, had not just stopped for no reason, inside the casing was a birds carcass, a HEADLESS birds carcass. EWWWWWWWWWWW!

Ya just never know what interesting experiences you will have handed to you, do ya?

And a Little Child shall Lead Them

While visiting with my daughter and grandbabies tonight we were blessed with such a sweet sight that I had to share with you. My daughters youngest Faize was playing a game on the computer and all of a sudden it got really quiet and when we investigated, this is what we found.....

How precious is he..

I just can't get enough of this angel baby

I must admit sometimes when I am sitting at the computer trying to get things accomplished I feel like doing the exact same thing.

I love you my littlest.

The best Seat in the House

okay everyone out there, it is time to talk some serious talk.
I have a favorite item in my household. It may seem unimportant or even trite but it serves a *HUGE* purpose in the cleanliness of my household, especially in one particular room. This is a product that I always keep in storage so that I don't run out.

I have used this product for years and it has never disappointed. I have even used it for purposes that it was not intended, to take off the hard water deposits on my outside windows.

What can this miraculous product be?...........My Lysol toilet bowl cleaner.


I just love this product to pieces. It takes the nastiest place in the house and makes it sparkle. (for those that have delicate sensibilities, STOP reading now)


Now my commode could feel badly about itself, just because of the very nature for which it was created, not to mention the arguments Mr Darcy and I have gotten into over the whole seat up, seat down universal debate, and yet with one quick squirt and swish it is new and fresh and ready to take on whatever life throws at it.

How about you.... do you have a favorite obscure household product that keeps your world humming along?

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Today is Sunday....I love Sundays and today was especially wonderful because it was our primary program.

There is nothing more celestial then seeing all those little 3 year olds standing up along the podium smiling as if they were on a float and had just been crowned the King and Queen of the world. Then they spot their mom and dad or siblings or neighbor and wave so excitedly it looks like their hand might fall off.

And then there are the oldest Primary kids...you know the ones that are only there biding their time until they move on to Young Men and Young Womens. They act as if it is a torture to stand up there and as soon as the word is given they will be off that stand and out of those choir seats.

It is a moment like that when I realize... I am smiling and I didn't even mean to, it just happens.

Then without warning or allowing me time to prepare myself and my overactive tear ducts, they begin singing the most heavenly songs...songs that make me think of celestial things and celestial voices coming down from the heavens. Their messages are simple and pure doctrine that any and all are capable of understanding. And before I know it the tears are flowing.

My heart starts to swell in my chest as if it would burst and a warm wonderful feeling washes over me from head to toe. Testimony is born to me of the truthfulness of these simple words and songs presented to me by tiny, innocent beings. How wonderful it is to be a member of this church.

And That Has Made All the Difference

Have you ever wondered how different your life might be if you had made even one small decision differently? That is what I am sitting here pondering about right now.
This morning I attended a funeral for a 33 year old young man with a young family. Funerals always make me think about life in a deeper way then my every day 'run here and there' type of thought process.

I rode up to the funeral with my parents and my dad made the comment, 'oh, everyone always wants to be younger,' well, in all honesty, I am not one of those people. I did that whole young thing, and I wouldn't go back. Granted, there are things that I wish I had done differently, but knowing myself and my 'leap before you look' mentality, I probably wouldn't take advantage of the opportunity to do things differently, so my only option is to move forward armed with the knowledge of experience and the wisdom that comes with heartbreak.

My life is full, my heart has been full to overflowing as well as broken and contrite, but both experiences are necessary for me. If I had not had the pain of foolish choices, I would never know the joy of choosing the right. My path is far from straight, there are many places my footprints have veered off to the right or left, but I hope that in the final analyses my path, though not as constant or straight as an arrow, will get me to the place where my joy will be complete. In the meantime, I make my choices, I accept the consequences, and I love the journey.

Seasons of Change

It's interesting the twist and turns that life throws your way.
We were attending the BYU-UNLV game last weekend and one of my sons friends joined us. He had just participated in a very long relay race that took place over a couple of days, and he mentioned that one of the racers had been hit by a drunk driver and killed. We felt awful about this and talked about it for a minute, then while we were driving back to the hotel that night my daughter called and told me that the High School band she used to work with had been at a competition in Idaho and while traveling back, one of the buses had rolled and the teacher on the bus had been thrown out and killed. On the way back the next day my mom called and told me that the racer that was killed was my cousins son. This on top of the death of another cousins husband just two weeks ago, and the death of my friends son only a week before.

I realize that death is a part of life but this seems like an awful lot of people that I know passing away in a very short time period. I know that they are happy where they are now, but those that are left behind are having to cope with their grief and lonliness. I think that I have had my fill of funerals for awhile.
I am however grateful for the knowledge I have about death and the life hereafter, it makes it much easier for me knowing that death is not the end and we will see our loved ones again.

Hi all,

It has been a while since I have posted, I have been out of town a great deal of the past month and so haven't had the opportunity to post. However, I had the wonderful experience this past weekend of listening to the leaders of my church, and it was uplifting and so very inspiring. I felt so greatly of my Father in Heavens love for me while I was listening. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. To anyone that is reading I must say,

I know that my Savior lives, I know that he atoned for my sins, and died that I might live again. I know that he Knows me individually and loves me, I know the holy Book of Mormon is true and that the Prophet Joseph Smith was and is a true and living prophet of God. I know this with every fiber of my being and I cannot deny it.

We are so blessed to have the Gospel! I love my Father in Heaven and his son Jesus Christ!

The Hills are Alive

I have some favorite pictures that I have decided to share with you all. They are pictures that make me peaceful, and serene. I love pictures of green hills.

I also love pictures of children playing


Doesn't this picture just make you want to run with abandon up the grassy slope and let your hair blow back in the breeze?

It is so lovely to watch little people run and jump and laugh as though they have no cares in the world other then "what time do I get to eat" and "are there popsicles in the freezer". I don't know about you but I could watch them for hours and never grow weary.

It is amazing that some of our Father in Heavens greatest blessings are under 3 feet tall.

Come One, Come All

Now that I vented about the discourteous fans during Saturdays game, please let me tell you about my favorite part of the Football game weekend..and that is the Fireside that the team puts on every eve of the game they are playing. They even do them when it is an away game. I have come to have such a great appreciation and admiration for not only the players but a wonderful head coach and his wife.

The Firesides always consists of 2 players speaking, 2 musical numbers (1 is always the entire team singing Armies of Helaman, talk about goosebumps) and then we hear from Coach Mendenhall and his wife Holly. These firesides are inspiring and uplifting and like the coach says, the important things taking place don't happen on the field the next day, they happen the night before in venues across this country. Testimonies are born and strengthened, bonds are formed between the fan and team (I would no sooner scream rude things at them then I would at my own children) and we are edified. This is the purpose after all of a football team at a church school, to introduce our beliefs to the world and to be disciples of Christ.

If you ever have this team come to an area near you, please call the football office at BYU and ask where the Fireside will be taking place. Then gather up everyone that you love, even if they don't love football, and come for a spiritually uplifting evening. You will not be sorry!

Rise and Shout

Does that sound familiar? Well, if it does you are more then likely an alumni of BYU, or you have lived in the state of Utah. Well last night Mr Darcy and I attended the opening game of the Cougars in Lavell Edwards Stadium.
Well, the game and all of it's ups and downs is now history and we were all saddened by the outcome, however that is not what this post is about. I wanted to address something that causes me a great deal of confusion, that being, the sportmanship of the fans (and I use the word loosely).

There was a man sitting just behind me and over, that had the loudest most penetrating voice I have heard in a long time. His voice was not the problem however, it was what he was saying. He was being very rude, yelling comments that were totally unnecessary and completely unkind. Now he wasn't swearing or anything, but that didn't make what he was saying any more palatable. And he wasn't alone, there were several people sitting around me making the same snide comments about the players, referees and the coaching staff. I was embarrassed for them.

Here's what I don't get, do these fans think that the players were enjoying the game, believe me, no one felt worse then they (the players) were feeling, and yelling at them certainly wouldn't make them run harder or play better, and I didn't see any of the loud mouths offering to run down and take their places.

Is this what being a fan means, if so, you can have it.

But that is not to say that everyone was behaving this way. The majority of the 'fans' were being supportive and trying to encourage the players and not tear them down. Maybe I had better change my focus and cheer a little louder.

Say 'Cheese' please

I have an addiction, as Momza would call it, my 'go to thang'. It is taking pictures. I just love to....no make that, need to take pictures. I usually carry the camera every where I go.

As a matter of fact, my grandson Ky-Ky calls the camera, 'Cheese'. That tells me he has heard this phrase a few too many times.

Now that is not truly my problem, you see, the problem is, it takes me, oh,...about a thousand pictures before I get the shot just the way I want it (you know, not fuzzy or off center).

I want so badly to have the eye of a great photographer, but I don't..so I continue to shoot at anything that stands still, hoping against hope that I will capture the very essence and soul of my subject.

And then just when I am feeling dejected and downtrodden, I come up (quite accidentally) with a picture that makes me feel, oh, I don't know, swooney and I catch my breath and think, this is it, this is what I saw through the lens. And I am once again renewed and prepared for the next thousand pictures.

Filling your Buckets!

Tenalyn, Ems, Sister Deb, Mom (4 generations of bucket fillers)

Today I was browsing around the blogging world and I visited my darling niece Ten's site. She is the Young Women President in her ward in AZ and she did a wonderful activity with her Young Women, check it out here.

Anyway I decided I wanted to do a little twist on her idea and tell everyone I can today something about them that I appreciate and love.

I want to be able to fill others buckets as they have filled mine. I hope I can do it justice, I will report back tomorrow on how I did.

Beautiful

34 years ago today a miracle happened. It took a typical, beautiful September day and turned it into a day that changed forever my life. You see, 34 years ago I was reborn....I became a mother. Isn't it amazing that 2 births took place that day for me shortly after 6 AM. I feel that it was on this day that I found out what it means to love someone more then yourself. This day taught me the joy of sacrifice.

My darling Sissy was born to me and Mr Darcy and from the moment she entered the world, the world became a magical place for me. Everything became new to me, every sound she made, every yawn or stretch seemed like the most amazing thing I had ever seen. She has been a true JOY to me and it was on this day that I felt my Father in Heavens true love for me.

Happy Birthday my tiny little newborn daughter. You have been and continue to be a source of love and joy to your old parents. I do not know what we did to deserve having a delightful daughter like you but I am grateful every day of my life that you are mine. Who knew that I would give birth to my best Friend.
Love your very grateful
MOM
Sorry about the graininess of the photos, I took pictures of pictures

What a beauty you are! I love you so much my little baby girl! I can't wait to get home and love on you for a while, and kiss your very tiny sweet baby head. I can't wait for your baby smell to fill all my senses with it's very sweet intoxicating perfume. You are truly an angel baby sent to remind us how close heaven really is!

Oh Baby!

Wow! There is just nothing like having your very own offspring (in this case a son) have his very own offspring to make you feel like a brand new person. Maybe it is because new life that springs forth from your bloodline is allowing a little bit of you to live on and on and on. Anywho, that is how I am feeling today. My newest tiny newborn grandbaby is doing BETTER and BETTER and I am so happy and grateful for that.

It is an interesting thing to be part of, this idea of generation after generation continuing on in an unbroken string. I truly do think that I will live forever, which in effect part of me will. And as I contemplate the beautiful grandchildren I have been blessed with, it is truly the best part of me that will live on.

With each new little one, comes that opportunity to try harder, to love with no conditions, to see through innocent eyes. A fresh start is ours to be had. What an adventure life is, what a gift to be enjoyed.

Who says you can't turn back the clock. Each new addition to my family makes me feel younger and invigorated and very alive. And if my kids keep up the pace, who knows, I just may live forever!

May I please have your Attention

SHE IS HERE!!!!

Each time a baby is born, So is a Grandma

I am sitting here on the bed. For all intents and purposes I appear to be very calm and composed. But deep inside I am all a flutter and discombobulated. You see today I have the great privilege and thrill of becoming a grandma, again, for the ninth time. And you know what? it never stops giving me butterflies and giddiness with anticipation. In short I. CAN'T. WAIT.

I am out of town, which makes it worse, and my son, although dear as the day is long, has a rather warped sense of humor and loves to keep me on pins and needles.
With each new grandbaby I have a renewed sense that I am becoming a grandma for the very first time.

It is amazing to be part of each new miracle that is my grandchildren. I will keep you posted about the events of this amazing day. Pretty cool birthday huh, 09-09-09!

The Man of the Hour

My dearest Pa-pa had surgery last Thursday. He has had a VERY active life and he has done his share of damage to his knees. He used to be a runner until his body complained so loudly that he had to finally give in and resort to speed walking and hiking up mountains. He also used to play basketball with men 20 years his junior and my father is competitive (that is not a good thing in this particular situation). He would play with injuries and broken bones just to prove he could. Well, that kind of physical abuse will finally take it's toll and it did. He had to have a knee replacement. He put it off for about 2 years and finally gave in, he had to, his golf game was being jeapordized. I also told him that when we go to Disneyland this December, I would refuse to push him in a wheelchair (truth be told, he would refuse to be pushed in a wheelchair). So off he went last Thursday morning....

Now something you should know about my dad, He is an in charge kind of guy. He doesn't like being tied down or at the mercy of others (in other words he is not an ideal patient). Now that is not to say he was not kind and gracious with those that were helping him, he was, he just did things like, get in the shower without telling anyone, or insisting they continue to walk laps around the hallways when the therapist said he was done (the physical therapist won by the way).
He was a little bit loopy when they brought him out of the anesthesia and may I say I have never seen my dad like that. He kept asking the same things over and over again. He kept trying to get out of bed. Oh, he was a rascal, that one.

Right after surgery

a day after surgery

He came home from the hospital yesterday and he tried to get out without all the usual rigamarole that accompanies discharge. The doctor said he could go, so he was going. They had to chase him down the hallway to get him to stop long enough for them to give him pain prescriptions (as if he will take those) and last minute instructions. But now he is home and happy to be there. And we are happy to see him there. What a character!

There is BEAUTY all around

Fall is coming, and with it the promise of cool nights and warm days. I happily receive it's occasional rain showers and cooling winds as the heat of summer finds it's way further south with the birds.

I love the colors of the changing leaves. We traveled up the mountain on Saturday to spend the day with Mr Darcy's Aunt and Uncle at their cabin retreat. The leaves are taking on orange, red and yellow highlights as the cool night air magically makes them the color of a burning sunset.

As the day wore on into evening, I sat on the porch of the cabin watching the humming birds jockey for the best position at the feeder for their last sip of nectar before retiring for the evening. I used to think that my children could really get into a knock-down drag-out fight, until I watched these tiny little birds hovering and then striking with lightening speed, becoming a Kamakaze pilot not caring for their safety or anyone else's.

Once the sun dipped below the horizon, the temperature dropped and I gratefully accepted the handmade quilt my hostess offered me. As the sun finally melted away, the full and graceful moon took it's place giving an ethereal light to the trees and roadway, making everything look like a black and white photo.

How is it possible for such beauty to abound? The creators hand not only built this world for survival of the body but also for renewing ones soul. He knew that I personally have a very short attention span, so he gave me a change of seasons to keep me filled and wondering. This is just another testament of his love for me and I am so grateful.